mungkin ini masalah ego

It's kinda funny. A person who was once your best friend become an almost total stranger to you. What went wrong?

Saya bukan orang yang mudah mendapatkan sahabat baru. Maka, ketika saya mendapati sahabat yang saya sayangi berubah…jadi orang yang asing sama sekali bagi saya, saya kecewa. Kecewa pada diri sendiri yang ga mampu menjaga hubungan persahabatan. Dan kecewa dengan si sahabat yang semudah itu membuang harga hubungan bertahun-tahun

Persahabatan itu penuh cinta. Oleh karena itu, satu hal yang konyol buat saya kalau orang menjauh dari sahabatnya cuma karena dia menemukan cinta platonis laki-laki perempuan. Bodoh banget. Bahkan dalam hubungan platonis itu, sahabat berfungsi! Mereka yang akan mengingatkan saat hubungan itu kacau, semrawut, dan melukai kita, si sahabatnya.ini kisah mengenai seseorang yang saya anggap sahabat yang cukup mengerti saya.I even once made a post about her. Both on Tumblr and blogspot. Saya pernah menulis mengenai permasalahan ini sebelumnya disini and the problem still going strong till now. Well maybe because theres none of us who really really want to solve this prob and and actually think that this thing could blow and vanish just like one click.Sebenarnya ini mungkin masalah ego. Ego dimana setiap orang merasa dirinya yang paling benar. Ego dimana setiap orang enggan untuk mengawali percakapan seperti biasa. Awkward moment itupun tercipta.Ini keegoisanku,. Keegoisan ku berpikir dengan keras membayangkan apa yang ada di benakmu saat ini kawan? Apa yg membuat mu begitu keras dan enggan mengakui kesalahanmu? Bahkan ketika kau berkata " sekarang ketauan mana temen yg baik mana yg bukan" - apa dengan berkata begitu lantas kau menganggap kau adalah teman terbaik setiap orang?. Saya benci ketika hal ini terjadi hanya karena masalah lack of communication atau siapa menyerang siapa..Tapi keegoisan saya pun yang ingin melihat dia got some kick in her head. Keegoisan saya yang ingin mencoba memposisikan dia di posisi saya selama ini. Dia adalah tipikal yang menurut saya lumayan get everything she want from this life,,g pernah atau setidaknya belum pernah merasakan berjuang untuk dapetin apa yang dia mau. huff..cape sebenernya..untung saya berada ditempat yang jauh, hal ini sedikit membantu untuk cuek terhadap masalah ini. As long as i can...

saya sayang dengan sahabat saya. Dan ketika saya mendapati kenyataan mereka berubah…dan dengan usaha sekuat apapun dari saya keadaan tidak membaik, yang ada dalam pikiran saya: mungkin buat mereka saya udah ga sebegitu berartinya.

Daripada persahabatan saya berubah jadi sesuatu yang aneh, ga berarti, dan ujung-ujungnya sekadar formalitas doang, mungkin lebih baik kita berhenti. Di saat seperti inilah, mungkin kita berdua bisa mengatakan dengan lega: mari kita berpisah jalan dengan tenang.People move on with their life. Bersahabat di satu waktu, belum tentu akan jadi sahabat seumur hidup.Entahlah..bercerita tentang 'mantan' sahabat membuat mata berkaca-kaca, tersenyum, dan merasa sedikit... hampa.

Bagi saya, dia tetap jadi sahabat..Meskipun sahabat jauh, meskipun dia tidak lagi menyapa, tidak memandang,tidak tersenyum dan tidak lagi bertegur sapa....

230km away from Bogor

say good bye to Jogja's plan..say hello to Ujung Genteng!!!

I just come back from Ujung Genteng, which is up to 6 0r 8 hrs from Bogor, some nice and not so hot weather, wll ok its rainy, where me and all my bestfriend spent our New Years Eve. We are not the crazy party type, we just like to laugh, eat super late dinner in wet clothes from the beach, played UNO card, wait till 12 o'clock, hug each other, UNO again and go to bed. Been excited to this trip ,since none of us ever been there and there's a plenty time and minimum budget and not to forget,,6 to 8 hours from Bogor..Despite all of the fact that it was hard rain along the trip, we do had fun!!

this is a great trip, well at least for me. I really enjoyed a holiday trip,,and all bestfriend made it complete.I don't really care about the budget, you can always looking for money, but a moment? Damn, you get to catch them..Its not always gonna be around you.Capture!

the time's forced us to say goodbye to 2011 and welcoming 2012..crossing finger and hope the Mayans were wrong.

ps: we'are planning our next trip and I've been drooling them over the Bira Island...lets keep wishes that trip coming true :)

H A P P Y.N E W.Y E A R 2012

they're smiling :)

once my friend asked me, what exactly my point to join and build this foundation together. Since I think its really string attached when your answer is " able to reward or planting your stock for heaven" and bla bla bla.. I just simply answer ; cause I wanna do a good deeds with you guys.

so here we are, had some fun with the orphanage. Playing games, quiz, watched the movie and lunch. Its quite nice, although while the preparation certainly there some constrain with the budget,personnel, and etc.But we nailed it!

anyway, while i'm sitting there with them, I'm beyond my imagination and thinking whats on earth could make them happy? How could they're able to get a full laughter like that? Well, of course there's a lot of thing could make you happy.Its good to contemplate and evaluate our lives regularly, don't you think? But the act of contemplating and evaluating doesn't always hate to resolve around our weakness, our faults, our area of improvements..it's also good to remind ourselves about our strengths, achievements, anything positive so that we appreciate ourselves and lives better..sound of rain make me happy,..think of things that go beyond the tangibles,,things that underline our positive value.Happiness is a mindset. You don't create it, and its not a destination. This life is your to enjoy.

Life doesn't end when we die. Life ends when we decide to stop touching each other, through our hands and hearts. When I no longer exist in your heart, what is there to share? And when life takes me away, who will be there to care?. Let's not stop sharing .... :)

menurut saya, ucapan adalah janji :)

Beberapa waktu yang lalu saya menemukan blog salah satu comic Stand Up Comedy Indonesia, Ernest Prakasa, didalam salah satu postingnya ia membahas bagaimana ia diajarkan untuk memegang dan konsisten dalam setiap ucapannya. berikut kutipan dari postingannya ;

Seperti bocah laki2 pada umumnya, saat melewati toko mainan, saya pun merengek minta dibelikan.Pada saat itu, respon ibu saya adalah, “Iya, nanti ya”. Dan kami pun lanjut berkeliling, lalu pulang ke rumah kakak ibu saya. Saya pun lupa akan kejadian di toko mainan tadi.

Malamnya, saat ayah saya menjemput saya dan ibu saya di rumah kakaknya, saya kembali merengek di jalan pulang. “Tadi kata mama nanti, nanti, manaaa? Kapan beli mainannya?”, kira2 begitulah protes saya.

“Bener kamu tadi bilang mau beliin?”

“Iya, tapi udahlah gausah. Mainan di rumah udah numpuk pa!”

“Ya ga bisa. Biar gimanapun, kamu udah janji.”

sebenarnya mungkin hal ini simple,tapi ngena banget. Apalagi buat orang yg tipikal ga-enakan dan suka kepikiran jenis saya.ijinkan saya sedikit memuji diri sendiri, namun kadang hal se simpel ini -yang mungkin menurut beberapa orang tidak sesimpel itu *baca:saya- bisa bikin hubungan anda dengan orang lain akan mengalami goncangan. Misalnya contoh kejadian perkara yang saya alami beberapa hari yang lalu. Seperti biasa jadwal pulang kantor saya pukul 17.00, namun jarang sekali kami pulang teng-go,dan pada hari itu sekitar jam 6 lewat saya sudah sampai di St.Sudirman, karena kereta pada telat,maka iseng saya bbm teman yang kebetulan akan naik rketa yang sama

saya : Eh, bareng gak? Kretanya udah di st.kemayoran..lo dmana?

si teman : Gw udah naik kopaja kok. mau nungguin gw ga? Biar bareng,kebetulan gw ada titipan nih buat lo.

saya: oh oke..gw tunggu di st.sudirman ya..gw udah disini.

Ok gw tunggu. Itu adalah sebuah janji menurut saya. Karena itulah saya mengabaikan beberapa kereta yang seharusnya bisa saya naiki untuk sampai tujuan saya,demi menunggu kedatangan si teman dan naik kreta yang sama.Namun yang terjadi adalah.. 40 menit berlalu menunggu siteman,tiba tiba ia mem-bbm saya, isinya ; "eh lo dmana?Gw udah naik nih" .BAM!! saya bingung harus jawab apa. hanya bisa diam dan yaaa ngedumel deh dikit dikit. Lalu apa lagi yang harus saya lakukan? rasanya gondoook sekali. cerita keteman saya yang lain,mereka akan berkata "nah lo bodoh,knapa harus nungguin"

Ya, karena saya sudah berjanji. Walau tidak terucap "Ok gw janji nungguin lo", tapi itu (seharusnya) merupakan invisible commitment antara saya dan teman saya tersebut.Dan akan sangat menyebalkan jika dilanggar atau tidak ditepati. Beberapa kejadian seperti "ntar gw bbm y" dan pada akhirnya tidak terlaksana pasti tak asing dan pernah kita lakukan.

Sounds so simple, yet so difficult to implement. But then again, difficult doesn’t mean impossible, rite?

so lets keep our word and promises ;)

#ageless movie: My Girl (1991)

My Girl is one of the movies that never seems to age, well at least for me. When a movie's plot is set in an earlier time period, it is forever stuck in the year that it's portrayed, in1972. In my mind Macaulay Culkin is 11 years old super cutie and Jamie lee Curtis still looks super hot in denim bell-bottoms. It took me a while to finally found this movie and download it. Thankyou super thanks to indowebster ;)

This film is fantastic!! Honestly, I have never cried so much (well,ok its a lie ) watching a movie. But even though the bits towards the end which will have you bawling are what the film is remembered for, everything in this film is just...fantastic! Part are hilarious , parts are just sweet and by the end of the film, you are genuinely caring for the characters.

The strength of "My Girl" isn't its story, but its little nuances of innocent bliss. Vada willingly shows a group of glowing boys a dead body. As the ride their bikes, Vada and Thomas J. sing `The Name Game'. When writing poems `from the soul', Vada writes an ode to ice cream. The relationship between Harry and Shelly is sweet, too. Before their first date, Harry's womanizing brother points out that since Harry's last date, a sexual revolution has occurred. Of course, Shelly only desires a proper and old-fashioned gentleman, which very much complicates their first date.

Oh, Vada. Why did you have to grow up and star in that mediocre sequel a few years later? And Thomas J., you were so cute before you started looking like a distant cousin to Draco Malfoy. Although I have to give you and Mila Kunis props for defying the Hollywood relationship statistic. I'm thinking you two will be the Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn of our generation.

these are a few memorable subs ;)

Vada: Why do you think people want to get married?
Thomas J. Sennett: When you get old, you just have to.

Vada: I'm gonna marry Mr. Bixler.
Thomas J. Sennett: You can't marry a teacher, it's against the law.
Vada: It is not.
Thomas J. Sennett: Yes it is, 'cause then he'll give you all A's, and it won't be fair.

Thomas J. Sennett: What do you think it's like?
Vada Sultenfuss: What?
Thomas J. Sennett: Heaven.
Vada Sultenfuss: I think... everybody gets their own white horse and all they do is ride them and eat marshmallows all day. And everybody's best friends with everybody else. When you play sports, there's no teams, so nobody gets picked last.
Thomas J. Sennett: But what if you're afraid to ride horses?
Vada Sultenfuss: Doesn't matter 'cause they're not regular horses. They've got wings. And it's no big deal if you fall 'cause you'll just land in a cloud.

WATCH IT!!!

got me line

this is my first dress. Officially do-it-my self. I'm getting attached to this sewing thing, hope it could stay for a long time :) I can't wait to be able making a dress for my besties and for my self (of course) Lets keep the hope up up up in the air .

anyway, I randomly blog walking to Zarry Hendrik's Tumblr and found this one :

Ini waktunya mengejar ketertinggalanku. Bukan lagi mengejar yang meninggalkanku.

*yeah!Hit!Punch!!Kick!!

pillow talk

To be honest, sewing my own clothes always be my passion. But again, never comes that easy :)

I already had my own sewing machine since a couple months ago, but never ever really touch it.Too many distraction. So last sunday, I got nothing to do on my free day so I collect a bunch of leftover cloth and turn it into a pillow :)

the super nice cloth

sketch it first

welcoming the "HERO"

First I cut the cloth into a pattern, just a simple one, make it rectangular and triangle..

I did challenge my self to make an elephant pattern, just a super easy one...

Voila!!!!

YAY!!!

I am super excited!

can't wait to collect another piece of cloth and got my self busy with the sewing machine again..

and the one day i'm gonna be able to make my own ready to wear dress :)

#random

-you never know how strong you are

until being strong is the only choice you have -

attack!!

this impulsive thing is killin' me

obviously!!

#random

karna udah temenan,,jadi misalnya janji kecil-simple-g ditepatin-tanpa -kabar-terlebih-dahulu boleh dianggap wajar dan dimaklumi aja yah??

promise.

i'm the one who always treat a promise with all the best I can do. I always shipped anyone who can keep their promise. Even for the tiny little one . That's why I always hope that my friend keep the promise their made to me. Sounds possessive , I know. But isn't it nice when you're hoping something had been told to you and it become real? even the famous people said ; don't make a promise that you can't keep.

oke ini sedikit curhat,untuk janji kecil seperti, "besok janjian di depan taman jam 7 pagi ya"..

ketika saya meng 'iya'kan janji itu, otak saya akan langsung bekerja dan membayangkan berarti besok saya tidak boleh tidur lagi setelah solat subuh, berarti saya besok harus naik kreta jam segini, untuk itu keperluan besok harus disiapkan malam ini, berarti malam ini harus tidur jam segini..blaa.bllaa.blaa.. yaaah, hal hal kecil yang harus saya pikirkan agar saya tidak terlambat ke pertemuan janji itu. Walaupun pada akhirnya saya sedikit terlambat bangun dan harus mengeluarkan dana yang sedikit lebih banyak demi naik kendaraan tercepat (baca:ojeg) untuk sampai di tujuan tepat waktu, well at least i'm trying my best to fill it.

tapi kenyataannya? Teman saya muncul pukul 7.45 dan tanpa kabar bahwa ia akan terlambat. Sekian PING sudah terkirim dan keringat mengucur di dahi karena menunggu dengan mati gaya di taman itu selama 45 menit. Padahal itu hanya janji untuk berangkat bersama ke sebuah maal yang jaraknya 5 menit jalan kaki dari tempat saya menunggu. pasti anda berpikir "kenapa saya g langsung aja ke mall itu dan menunggunya disana?".. Because when we made promise, we make it true.

The worst part is,,ketika teman saya sampai di lokasi, tidak ada perkataan maaf keluar dari mulutnya :)

#damnyoubadday