life guide

If you have a problem with me, call me. If you don't have my number, then that means you don't know me well enough to have a problem.

If you know what I mean..

these day..

• adding Ngo Hiang as one of my favorite foods
• the series are back in brand new season this month.
• sayonara to my freelance activity. its not allowed anymore
• found a new spot for weekly visit. Fast internet connection, good foods,nice beverage, friendly price, and it just around the corner.Yay!
• finally able to do some running every tuesday afternoon. Hope this one will last.
• into Far East Movement.
• repeating Running Man especially Bigbang's episode.
• can't get enough of humming Paramore's song. Moving on.
• planning to make a video of cups, and put it in Instagram.
• Jealous.Jealous.Jealous.
• getting cold treat from a close friends, trying to ignore it and moving on
• amount of savings decrease. G!
• prep for my office's semi-military camp. Finger crossing for this one.
• managed to make my mom,and family proud. And I really happy able to doing that!
• new salary offered make me smiling ear to ear.
• can't wait for Club 8 concert on October26th.
• heartbroken :')

indie-gigs mate

minus Dipo. hiks

currently read

Gretchen Rubin asked herself, “What do I want from life, anyway?” She answered, “I want to be happy”

I have no idea how to properly convey how I feel about this book. I felt so much for it and because of it and it's kind of crazy. I saw so much of myself in the author and some of the examples she explained, half the time I was sitting there dumbstruck. She breaks down her resolutions in such a way it's very easy to follow along and she is so specific in how they work out you really can't ask for much more.

It's funny that I've reacted to The Happiness Project so strongly too because originally it just sounded like a cute and fun memoir which is something I love to read, but it was so so much more than that. You might think with it being a bit of a self help book that it could get preachy or be filled with boring clinical talk or charts and graphs but it's nothing at all like that. It's someone sharing their wonderful experience with great insight that is very easy to transfer to your own life.

lets continue then..

Friday almost 2 a.m. can't sleep. light off.scrolling through 'capture it" photos in my phone.

they said ; throughout life you will meet one person who is unlike any other. You could talk to this person for hours and never get bored, you could tell them things and they won't judge you. This person is your soul mate, your best friends. Don't let them go.

tiba tiba rasanya rindu..

rindu obrolan hangat di sela sela kentang goreng dan minuman penghangat favoritnya. rindu perasaan hangat yang selalu membuncah hanya dengan melihat senyum atau mendengar nya memanggil nama saya dengan halus. rindu omelan omelan nya yang selalu muncul saat saya mengeluh dan terjebak di aura negatif. rindu dengan entah bagaimananya ia selalu bisa memperlihatkan hal manis dari setiap masalah saya, even when I even didn't see it coming.rindu perasaan dimana si sahabat saya akan berkata "kamu suaranya bahagia sekali". rindu mengulur sore bersama walau hanya bertukar emoji di smartphone.rindu dengannya yang selalu mengingatkan saya untuk mengutamakan bagaimana bikin mama bahagia. rindu dengan tangan yang bertaut walau dalam keheningan, hening yang rasanya nyaman sekali.rindu kerutan di pinggir matanya ketika ia tertawa.

rindu betapa bersemangat nya ketika bercerita tentang kerjaannya yang tidak saya mengerti sama sekali. rindu ketika perdebatan dan obrolan mengenai hal yang disebut agama nya dan agama saya bisa kadang menimbulkan emosi dan hopeless laugh.rindu "kan ada aku.." yang keluar dari mulutnya. rindu tepukan lembut di punggung yang rasanya seperti dorongan penyemangat. rindu caranya menularkan kedewasaan padaku yang kadang saya benci, karena memang beberapa orang( seperti saya) terlalu keras hatinya untuk berubah dan bisa, satu satunya cara adalah dengan teguran keras.rindu betapa tetap setianya walaupun pertanyaan yg ia tanyakan yang selalu akan saya balas dengan pertanyaan lagi. rindu bagaimana ia mengajarkan saya bahwa Tuhan yang akan mencukupkan semuanya, jadi tak perlu cemas dalam hidup karena semua sudah diaturNya.dia mengajarkanku cara berserah. rindu akan kalimat sesimpel "din,mama kirim salam.."

aah..jadi rindu sekali rasanya.

muluk muluk yah...klise dan gombal sekali rasanya hahaha saya menertawakan dimana akhirnya saya sendiri yang mengingkari janji. berjanji tidak akan menulis apapun tentangnya lagi di lini ini. dasar khianat kamu,dini! 

Suatu ketika dia pernah berkata ; "sekarang nih ya, ada banyak orang all over the world yang sama seperti saya, sama seperti kamu. They're maybe lonely sometimes. Mereka rindu seseorang. Mereka jatuh cinta pada seseorang yang they probably shouldn't fall in love with. Mereka punya rahasia yang mungkin kamu ga akan percayai. Mereka berharap, bermimpi, berdoa dan they look out the window whenever they're in car or bus or train. Dan mereka memperhatikan orang orang dijalan dan wondering what they've been through. Mereka selalu mengira - ngira apakah orang orang menyenangi dirinya. Mereka seperi saya, bahkan seperti kamu. Kamu bisa cerita apa saja dan mereka akan mengerti. You're never alone."

we are never alone actually, but we almost always feels like we're alone. 

God's love you :)

how do you like your egg?

scrambled on toast? Omelette? Sunny side up? poached?

I'm an egg person.. I just crazy about egg. Eat it everyday and have no problem with it (so far i guess..)

I was reminded the time when I had breakfast at Biku,Bali. We ordered a full breakfast menu which include breads, jam, steamed veggie, tomato,fries,smoke beef and etc. But my eyes fixed a view instead on the table next to me. They ordered,I don't know what it called on the menu, but its a toast with bacon and poached egg. A perfect poached egg. It yolk just flow as you split it. Nom!! I would def order it if its not I had a full stomach. And then right at that time, I speak in my head and questioning, how to make a perfect poached eggs like that? How can it be so good looking and also I bet it tasted good. Wondering...

And today I re-watched Julie and Julia, and right at the scene when Julie learn how to make a poached egg, that ideas pop up in my head again. Why haven't I tried it? 

Thanks to a helpful web called Pinterest, I get the trick.

Looks easy isn't it? 
I really really can't wait to try this :)

silly little things that make me happy #2

summer dan semangka dingin

Don't Listen to the Critics!

Okay I have to write this.. I owe it to simply remind people that Depp never failed!

"Tonto: There come a time, when good man must wear mask."

You know the plot; you also know who is in this movie so lets get to it. The Lone Ranger presents a new take on the classic characters the Lone Ranger and Tonto. This film is exactly what a summer movie should be and one fun ride that you most definetely don't want to miss.The story is well told and gives you a good idea of how a man named John Reid becomes the Lone Ranger who is brilliantly played by Armie Hammer. Johnny Depp obviously stole the show for his portrayal of Tonto; I thought it was one of his best characters he's ever played. Depp steals the show with his one liners, a few times I just started laughing at the comments he would make. Overall i'd give this movie an 9/10. What I really enjoyed about the movie was that the special effects didn't look too fake. Yeah a few scenes you may have been like yeah right in your head but unlike Fast and the Furious 6, the special effects people on this project do a great job keeping it looking realistic.Settling down in my seat and 10 minutes into the movie, I was hooked on. A spectacular opening scene, where the outlaws make away with their chief held captive and being transported on a train. I love everything in this movie. The coboy's soundtrack , Depp, the story, the punchline, everything's entertain!

It is too bad that there appears to be a hate on for this movie simply because it seems that a lot of money was spent in its making. But look at it this way, when you hire real stunt persons, construct and destroy real trains and stage many stunts for real, it is not going to be cheap. I would rather support this type of movie-making any day instead of the tired CGI based effects laden yawners. Every penny of the budget is on screen in a beautiful shot and staged movie. I found it to be an enjoyable 159 minutes of entertainment. I would really love to go and watch this movie again.

Don't let the so called "professional "critics" make your choices. Let's face it critics get paid to over analyze and pick things apart. 

Just believe in your eyes and believe in Depp ;)

but..

they said. :

clear your mind of can't

changing your thinking and reaction patterns

keep on positive

happy thought

think as somebody else's shoe

etc.


but they never said how to do it  !!

another June

Hello Daddy,

Been eleven years in 2013.

I blame myself for this delayed post, as I promised to me, I'll write to you every June 25th but I missed it for like a week this years. 

What's new? well, I finally took a leap to resign from that company which turns out to be evil company hahahaha... why I said so, the people are too greedy and I dont know how to say it, after all I've done for them, now they're just like....that. Friends put pity on me, but I'm not even sad. I am mad. They made me sit at the worst version of my self. Being a person who has a negative aura, overthinker, unbeliever, more on that, now I believe there's a bad side on everybody. I do. Until I talked to a friends, and he did made me see the bright side of this mess. Well, I think all I need in the end is a good talk and no judge, and well maybe a bit of compliment hahaha.. I really thanked for people who do believe in me even when I didn't :)

And for Ami, she finally had a boyfriend. Yay! From the beginning, she's really looked like a teenage girl who fallin' in love really hard, crash in the middle and the sadness and the hubbub comes along. They planning to get married though. Just let keep our finger crossing on that one. The news spreading like an acne when your often touch your face. Fast. The Aunts knew..cousins knew..uncle's knew, about their love story and problem. Extrovert people always impressed me. But hey, no judge here..as long as you're happy sis.An mom happy ahhahahaha. Oya, the bad news is we barely get in touch with Rhino, moreover he'd been move to Lampung for better reason and I think that made us keep in lost contact. Yea,believe me dad..phone is useless and not well used I think. Graham Bell must be sad. 

So, our family is in a long distance family-ship right now. Mom's in Bukareh, Ami still in PP, Rhino in Lampung, well I may said that Vicky and me still in the same phone code..He's in Depok and I'm sittin' here in South Jakarta. Cool isn't it. 

In this 2013 and summer movies are great! They made a prequel from Monster Inc, and Chuck Norris cast in The Expendables 2 last year. He still got it. I really can't wait to watch Depp in The Lone Ranger, its been delayed since last year and finally release this summer. Woohooo... No more Downey Jr in Iron Man movie, he didn't want to continue the role same as what Christian Bale did for Batman. Three movie is enough for them. I started to watched Korean variety show called Running Man since I can't remember. The show is great, they really gave us full laughter. I think you're gonna love it. You're gonna love yoo jae suk!

We still have about five months ahead. So I really hope this year would be a better year than before for me and for our family. I really do. We've been through a lot and I think its maybe the right time we deserve something "something" :)

Wish us luck and happy,Dad.

May you always rest in peace and happy birthday :)

sudah waktunya atau belum waktunya?

kemarin malam saya sempat membaca salah satu blog hasil nemu di timeline twitter. Ada beberapa kata yang ia tulis di blog itu yang lumayan membuat saya berpikir. I am not a good writer, I read people stuff and kinda find it describe my current situation and write that on this blog with my own comment and adding. People might find it weird, but hey this is my blog we're talkin' about. Theres X button you can click on that upper right corner if you don't like :')

Saya memulai tahun ini dengan mimpi,

Mimpi bahwa tahun ini akan membawa dan menjadikan saya seseorang yang lebih dicintai. Bukan oleh orang terdekat, tapi oleh diri sendiri. Karena yang paling menentang diri saya adalah diri saya sendiri.

Saya selalu merasa apa yang saya lakukan tidak pernah cukup baik untuk dapat dibanggakan. Apa yang saya lakukan tidak cukup membuat saya menjadi manusia yang lebih dihargai. Saya merasa apapun yang saya lakukan tidak pernah cukup.

Kadang mereka tidak mengerti, ya memang ini semua adalah proses yang harus saya hadapi sendiri. Tidak perlu dimengerti, karena setiap orang memiliki hal - hal dalam dirinya yang akan susah untuk dimengerti oleh orang lain.Tapi memang pada halnya,memutuskan untuk memiliki mimpi memang ternyata lebih gampang daripada merealisasikannya. 

Orang terdekat saya memang sering kali menyarankan saya untuk mengurangi ke over think-an saya, mengurangi kadar (terlalu) peduli kepada orang lain tanpa peduli apa itu akan menyusahkan saya atau tidak. Memerintahkan saya untuk stop mengutamakan bahagia nya orang lain, stop making everybody believe i'm happy and really really start to make my self happy. And I'm gonna always defend by saying " bukankah kita hidup untuk memberi kebaikan buat orang lain?".Kalau saya sudah berkata seperti itu, ia akan berkata dengan tegas, "orang orang yang kamu baikin dan bikin seneng itu, akan selalu keenakan dimanja ama sikap kamu dan lupa untuk bersikap yang sama ke kamu" #DEGH!

Really, menurut saya memang kita hidup untuk memberi kebaikan buat orang lain. Masalah mereka akan berlaku sama atau tidak, itu beda kasus. But just like Joey Tribbiani said, "there's no such things as a good deeds" . Tiap kebaikan yang kamu perbuat, pasti pamrih. Think about it. really put time to think about it ;)

Anyhoo, proses mewujudkan mimpi saya diatas sepertinya tidak berjalan terlalu mulus di pengawal tahun ini. Saya yang seharusnya menjadi semakin mencintai diri justru berbalik menjadi benci dan cenderung kesal terhadap diri saya sendiri. I'm not on the best version of myself. Saya kembali ke fase dimana saya merasa semua yang saya lakukan tidak cukup baik. Saya benci mengakui kalau saya sedikit depresi. Things at work  is killing me. Things at work start to make me not me anymore. I've become a person who sit in low point of life.I've become a person who put a negative thought on everybody. Overthink on everything. I've become a person who is spirit-less. I currently not find things interesting anymore.I'm not happy.This is totally not good! i'm kinda miss my self. 

So far in my life, I've met three people who said that I am an introvert person. I acted like there's nothing  bad happen in my life and I just eat my own problem without sharing it. They said that could killin' me softly.  I used to argue by saying that its hard for me to find someone who would really listened and really really  just listen. But now I found my self starting to believe in their theory :'|

This is not good.

Apakah itu artinya saya melupakan mimpi saya?

Memutuskan memiliki mimpi memang lebih mudah daripada merealisasikannya.

Dan hari ini saya dengan lapang dada mengakui bahwa saya masih belum mampu merealisasikan mimpi kecil itu.

Suatu hari nanti.

Saya sedang berperang.Berperang dengan keadaan dan diri saya sendiri. Biasanya saya selalu menang. Kali ini juga pasti saya menang.

Pasti menang.

always.

suddenly..

Truth is, aku tidak tahu tujuanku apa.  I have no idea where I’m going in life.  And it gets pretty scary sometimes if I let myself think about it.  Yang aku tahu hanya menjalani hidup ini one day at a time, bekerja, makan, tidur, tertawa, ngobrol.  As long as I got some jobs to do and men to do, I’m fine.  I should be fine. 

we are stronger

2013 is kinda a crisis year for some of us..we're turning 26 years old this year. Well, to be honest, for me age is just a number, I am one of those people who though 'what is number if you can't act as your age'.. But still, if you bring it to your society and our eastern culture, 26 is the age where a women forced to think about marriage, kids and stuff. I plan to write about this stuff in one post,later :). Anyhoo, other than those things above, I really consider to think about my own life. I think I have problem to decide which path I want to walk on. More on questioning my self lately. What is I really really want. I've been in this super comfort zone for a while,pffft..for too long.  Too long that I surely can see a fungus in my brain. But not too long to think I maybe a lil afraid to move on to other place whereas maybe have a better view. I really need to move on, move out from this super comfort zone.. I even hate my self lately.. I miss me hahaha. Once I'd read somewhere, 

Life's never getting easy, but we're getting stronger. 

people who smile in rain

dering telpon nyaring berbunyi di minggu siang . Seseorang di masa lalu tiba tiba mengabarkan kalau dia sedang berada di sekitaran Jakarta dan mengajak bertemu sekedar untuk bertukar berita.

Rasanya sudah terlalu lama saya tidak berjumpa dengan pria satu ini. Bitter story from the past terlalu membuat saya benci untuk bahkan mengetahui kabar keberadaannya. Tak banyak teman dekat saya yang tau mengenai algojo yang satu ini. Saya pun rasanya malu untuk kembali merasa bodoh jika harus menceritakan kisahnya ke teman teman.

Entah kenapa, ingatan-ingatan itu muncul liar di kepala saya pagi ini. Bermunculan tanpa ampun, Seperti kembang api tahun baru yang tak hentinya menghiasi langit. Indah, namun berisiknya minta ampun.

Ah saya tau kenapa.

Saya menatap namanya di dalam daftar orang yang mengirimkan permintaan berteman di Facebook. Nama itu memang sudah lama muncul, sekitar sebulan terakhir. Saya diamkan karena saya berpikir, buat apa? Dia sudah dengan kehidupannya dan saya dengan kehidupan saya. Tapi saya pun tak kunjung menghapusnya dari daftar nama itu.

Sampai pagi ini. Saya menyetujui permohonan bertemannya.

Setelah itu saya tersenyum kecil. Ini cuma social media platform, kalo orangnya gak asik, ya tinggal delete friend aja kan?

here comes the 2013

bye 2012

to be honest, I did happy in 2012. Trips,family,friends but not romance kind a way hahaha..But let leave all in that year of turmoil and face 2013 with happy face.

I really put a lot of hope in this new year..well, who's not..

One thing I really wanna put first is my worship to God. First thing first!

Happy new year!!!