I don't know what a proper way to write what really hanging in my mind right now. Okay, hit the point, I'm feeling one of bestgirl,kinda look like a completely stranger to me. She come visited me a couple days ago, like usual, we talk,share,gossip and laugh.But something went wrong in my head. It started when she said she's finally make a relationship with one in our group. Well, to be clear, let me start with a couple month ago story. My group of seven since highschool had become a group with really intimate bond and we're just like family. Last year, someone,lets call him "X" -who also went into some high school with us- entering our little group and play along with us. He get in touch,,share,,and commit to our little group, just like he's belong to us.. For me, its not a big problem (at that moment), and so the others (I think). Then, the problems comes along.. I started to think one of my friend act differently, and without further notice, we start to barely talk. And then X start to had jealousy problem with his current girlfriend. Essentially, the X's girlfriend got jealous of my bestgirl who she considered had more ties to her boyfriend. and she thought her boy had a feeling to this girl too.Being lazy discuss further, I immediately asked my bestgirl and X ,if it's true or not. I asked them about two and three times and the answer remains the same. Whether they really like each other or not.And clearly they both said : NO!!
There I left with the answer NO..by that, I think there's no problem anymore as long as they commit and firm. But the fact was not the case .. some time after that, when she visited me, she told me that she and the X have formed a loving relationship. All I did was pause and laugh. I don't even know what to say anymore..I have no word, except "Its your problem..I am no one who deserve to talk about who you should or shouldn't love.". I admit. By that time, that's all I can say. And that's it,,that's when I began to feel she's change. A completely stranger. Maybe I can't explain more detail about how I feel. She's totally different now, and and my mind makes the X look very bad,it's like every single thing he did before, has a purpose. and that make me sick. I know I'm not supposed to feel and act this way.. I supposed to support and bless whatever her choice. But really, it felt so weird and annoying.
It takes time to be OK with whats going on..
